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a new way of looking at... love >> reflections upon marriage - 1 |
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while i was going through the post-graduation ferver, i also was planning for a wedding. marriage to me has a very sacred element. it is the joining of two people in a bond that society has made show commitment to one another. it is the beginning of a new journey, in which two people become so entwined with one another that, romantically speaking, body, heart, mind, and soul forge a bond that should not be broken. of course, this is romantically speaking.
i came from a divorced family, and i firmly believe that the only two good things that came from it are myself and my sister. i watched as two people slowly became undone, falling out of love, and losing sight of who each other were. it was an experience that i have gotten over now, though it still leaves a stain on my past that i tend to forget. i only remember vague actions that took place, but in the wake of it all, i have found both my mother and father better off. the experience was as such that it took five years of courtship with my fiancee before i even considered marrying her. i wanted to make sure that she was the one, and i know more than ever that she is. by the one, i am saying by no means she is perfect. people who are searching for the perfect mate will never find it as the expectations always grow larger. perfection is something that is the effect of 2000 years of religious dominance throughout the world. we believe there is something perfect out there, so we seek it, and nothing becomes good enough. a person could potentially infintiely approach that condition, but the actual realization of it hasn't been found in any mortal man. amy isn't perfect. she has her faults. and i definitely have mine. she also has wonderful virtues that i only wish i had. i think she feels the same about me as well. i'm not marrying her solely on the basis of her interests, her beauty, or other criteria that most people create when searching for a meaningful relationship. it was the compatibility, the interaction between us, and most importantly, it's because i love her in spite of any faults she might have. that's the key. i feel that my parents were not compatible and rushed into marriage. i wanted to make sure, and i have with amy. this was only the selection process, however, and i want to reflect on what's going on in my life since she said yes last may. the two of us have been through a lot. we were both in our last semester in college, trying to maintain that while keeping things open with the family. never to do things simply, our wedding is in key west, florida. it was there that i knew that i wanted to marry her during christmas of 1999. we have both poured so much of our lives into the wedding, our educations, and our activities that we have not only lost sight of each other (though we do catch glimpses from time to time), but that we have been lumped together as one entity when we enter into discusions. the question 'how are you doing?' is now using the collective 'you' and not the individual 'you'. 1 | 2 |