a new way of looking at...     writings >> shannon kuehn >> the addict's narrative

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Have to find it, need it
agitated as the hours pass without a phone call,
waiting.
The long day grows longer as the fingers drum a silent
melody
on the telephone book.

The ring startles, then the ringing,
piercing through the thick silence.
Slowly regaining composure
               I reach for the phone...

I answer.


On the corner,
between here and there
not particularly caring,
just waiting.
Watching those that pass,
noticing calm conduct.

Checking the watch, checking it again
Restlessly expecting
making sure the time reads correctly.
Rubbing the jittering hands over the creased bills,
tracing the finger over Franklin's face,
awaiting
               in eager anticipation



and then nothing.

Giving up at half past eleven,
the clock on the old church chimes,
reaffirming the fact that it is well past the agreed
time.
I have to try somewhere else.
Angered and frustrated.
  But why?

Because I NEED it...
like air, to breathe in - exhale out.
To make sense of this senseless world
to dream on toward a euphoric bliss...
to not have to deal with those who do not understand.


               Because I NEED it..GODDAMNIT!