a new way of looking at...     writings >> zak mayer >> yawner

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so tired my brain feels like tar
always sticking to the sole of your shoes
staing everything it touches
washed off only by gasoline
wishing I had a match to lite it up
one gigantic fireball bursting from my sockets
scorching all I see because I simply want to sleep
if only someone had a match
if only I smoked

eyelids like lead
lead the destroyer of all
a hail of bullets my brain shoots forth
incoming fire across my body rending legs useless
the dead weight they are
the pins and needles they feel
I've been sitting here so long my ass is asleep
my legs are numb and my mouth dry
no tears shed from my eyes

my mind screams out for a soft pillow
only to find hard hand and tense knuckles
weakly I utter a small chuckle
Chinese
I'm writing in chinese?
The letters dance around and jump off the page
suicide in a pile on the floor
and I'm laughing out loud for all to hear
why is everyone staring at me?

A moment of clarity and my senses sharpen.
"Sorry I haven't slept for 39 hours at this point."